


Friedrich Nietzche

by sipjackerryjuice



Category: Tales from the Gas Station
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jack is Bi, Jerry is bi, M/M, Smut, Spoilers (duh), There’s some plot, a lot of people are bi tbh, happens in volume two, tw mentions of homophobia ig? yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25837954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sipjackerryjuice/pseuds/sipjackerryjuice
Summary: Jack and Jerry share a tender moment after the old school, and things progress from there.
Relationships: Jack/Jerry (Tales From the Gas Station)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	1. Just The Two Of Us

**Author's Note:**

> this one is longer, but it’s how I imagined Jack and Jerry getting together would go  
> thanks for reading, if you like it leave kudos or a comment!
> 
> p.s. if Jack sees this I will take a nice little dip in a piranha pool

My body erupted into shakes, and I crouched down on the ground, waiting for the adrenaline surge to pass. My rapid breaths came out in puffs of frosty air as I tried to calm down.  
"That… was… awesome! Did you see that? I drove us right over the creek!"  
I looked up at him.  
"How did you know that was going to work?!"  
He scratched his head for a moment, staring at the dented hunk of junk.  
"Well, I just did some quick math. Your car weighs about five hundred pounds. The truck weighs ten cars, more or less. It's been snowing for two weeks at an average of twenty degrees each day. Ice freezes a quarter-inch per hour. We were doing about a hundred when we hit the creek, so we would've been able to drive on the ice for two minutes while the truck would break through in half a second."  
He grinned, evidently proud of himself. I shook my head to try and get the stupid out of my ears.  
"Jerry, not one thing you just said was accurate."  
He laughed and made for the compound, tossing a "you can't argue with results!" over his shoulder.  
I pulled myself up off the ground and followed him.  
"I can certainly argue with technique!"  
The last of the shakes wore off as we passed through the frosty bunker and back to the school bus, where warmth and light greeted us. Jerry did exactly what I was expecting. He went for the radio.  
I whacked his hand with my crutch as he reached out for it.  
"Hey!" he shouted.  
"What the hell are you doing?"  
"I have to see why Van wasn't there!"  
I couldn't believe it. He was still buying into the Russian Radio's tricks. The pained look on his face felt like a knife in my gut.  
"Jerry, let me explain it to you. Van was never there. I told you already. I… I watched her die. If the radio knows everything, then it knew that there were killers waiting at the old school. And it knew that Vanessa is your weak spot."  
He stared at me in disbelief, but I could see the wheels were turning. No matter how bad either of us wanted Vanessa to be alive, I was making sense. And he knew that.  
"I'm sorry, Jerry. But the voice used Van to lure us into that trap. We were set up. By the radio."  
Jerry opened his mouth to respond. But he was cut off when the radio switched itself on. I would've reacted with a bit more surprise if we just hadn't had the kind of night we'd had. The universe was gonna have to throw a lot more than a possessed radio at me to even get a shocked gasp.  
I would've turned it off right away if it weren't for the first thing it said. The smooth Slavic voice poured out like honey.  
" _...fatal familial insomnia...He uses name 'Jack Townsend'...He has one baby tooth...He is threat level eight…There is another man aware of transmission...His name is Jeremy Pascal...He is threat level echo...They have survived the old school...The collector's men are drowned...Townsend and Jeremy are in presence of transmission receiver...Jeremy is moving towards transmission receiver...He is disassembling transmi—_ "  
There was a loud crackle as Jerry tore the radio in half. As he stood there, the only sounds left were the grumble of a generator in the distance and the low hiss of the space heater at the back of the bus. Also, the sound of my heart thrumming against my ribs. The quiet felt strangely calm.  
Intimate in a way I couldn't explain.  
Whatever Jerry was feeling washed away and just left him looking exhausted. Finally, he dropped one half of the radio on the ground with a loud clack and fell into his seat. He shrugged, before sagging down, defeated and deflated.  
"If thou gaze long into an abyss, be warned, for sometimes the abyss doth gaze back… something, something, monsters."  
I looked him over for a moment.  
“Friedrich Nietzsche," I said.  
“Gesundheit," he responded.  
I took a seat next to him. Closer than I had meant to. I stared into his big, blue, sad eyes. I leaned in just a bit to examine him more closely.  
_God, even when he was depressed, he was so attractive._  
I felt my heart thumping harder. My ribs felt like the lights of the gas station that the moths would slam themselves against. The silence between us as our faces drifted closer was palpable. Part of me almost wished he would say something stupid and break the spell. Something that would ruin whatever this moment was, and we could move on as if nothing had happened.  
But part of me didn't want that.  
The look in Jerry's eyes changed. Even now, I don't think I could find the right words to describe the exact emotion that look conveyed. "Wonder" is probably the closest I could come.  
I didn't really think about it. I just closed what little distance was left between us. Jerry's lips were soft and warm. He tasted like Pedialyte. Though the taste was not pleasant, his kissing skills more than made up for it.  
After a minute, I pulled away. The vault broke, and immediately my brain began to overflow with the thoughts I did my best to keep locked away, along with quite a few new ones.  
I just stared at Jerry. He stared back.  
He brought his hand up to my face and rested it on my cheek.  
I went to say something, but we drifted together again, and he locked lips with me again. I realized I'd started leaning against him to steady myself.  
Instead of letting the thoughts bouncing around my skull eat me alive, I surrendered to the warm wave of a kiss, closed my eyes, and let the ocean carry me away. He ran his hand from my face down my jawline.  
His lips moved less softly and unsure and more passionate and enthusiastic. This kiss lasted longer.  
When we broke away, I stuttered for a moment. I'd washed back up on the beach.  
"I-I don't know what this is."  
Jerry looked just as surprised as I did.  
"I… I thought you were…"  
"...Straight?"  
He nodded, looking away.  
"So did I."  
He looked back at me, and I could tell he was entering damage control mode.  
"Jack, we can pretend this didn't happen. It… it'll be fine."  
I shook my head. That just wasn't gonna work.  
"No, Jerry, we can't."  
He swallowed and looked out the window at the falling snow. I'd seen him cry before. I'd seen him sobbing to the point where he couldn't talk. But watching the tears well up in his eyes and catching at the corners of his eyelids was different. I could see how hard he was fighting to keep it together, and it hurt me.  
I noticed the quiver in his voice as he spoke, and I'm sure he did too.  
"This doesn't have to be weird or awkward, man. We can just forget. I don't… I don't wanna lose you. You're my only friend and…"  
He trailed off and looked back down at the floor. I saw a few tears slip down his cheeks. Watching him cry like this felt so incredibly wrong. He took a deep breath.  
"And Van is gone."  
As much as I'd tried to bring it home to him, hearing him admit it gave it a sort of finality, and I hated it.  
Before I could think about it too long, I changed the subject.  
"Who said it was weird or awkward?"  
He looked surprised. He quickly wiped his eyes and looked back up at me.  
"You… you didn't think it was?"  
"Jerry, we kissed twice. If it was weird and awkward, I wouldn't have let it happen a second time. It was…. it was nice."  
He let out a small, nervous laugh.  
"That makes sense."  
I hadn't been kissed in a while. The last time wasn't even supposed to happen. And before that, it'd been even longer.  
"I haven't been with anyone since Sabine. It's been years."  
I didn't tell him just how incredibly lonely those years had been. But I think he could tell. I continued.  
"I don't care if you're a guy."  
The words were scary, but they were sincere. I knew that much. It had been long overdue, but I was finally coming to terms with it.  
"You… you don't?"  
I nodded.  
"You're the only person that's there for me like this. You're always behind me. Like, no matter what. You're a ride or die."  
"Ah, no problem, man. You know, I kinda thought you were into O'Brien there for a while."  
I chuckled nervously.  
"Oh, what? No, don't be silly. She's… not really my type."  
You know, if I could stop catching feelings for my friends? That would be really great.  
"Dude. You're the only person I care enough about to come out to check on them in their fucking cult clubhouse when I should be working, and it's negative ass degrees outside."  
“It’s not a cult. But thanks."  
He smiled a bit.  
"Do you need a ride back? I mean… well, I don't think I can get your car to start again… and I'm kinda scared it might explode."  
"It's alright. O'Brien's gonna pick me up when I'm done here. But I do have to get back to work soon."  
He sighed and averted his eyes.  
"Yeah, that's what I figured."  
I touched his hand. He looked back at me.  
"But… I don't think I wanna leave just yet."  
He blinked for a moment. Had he expected me to just leave right now?  
"You don't?"  
"No. Actually, I think I'll take some of that whiskey now. If you still have it."  
He looked like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He gave me a big, sincere, Jerryish smile. Then he went to find the bottle and a couple of tumblers. As soon as his back was turned, I snatched a couple of parts from the radio that looked important. Just to keep him honest.  
We finished our drinks, and then took all the pages he'd written notes from the radio on, and burned them. I sat next to him as I watched the paper disintegrate, and little pieces of ash float skyward with the smoke. He lit a cigarette, and I watched the smoke lazily drift from his mouth.  
_God, he was pretty._  
At some point, I leaned into him, and he yawned and wrapped an arm around me. All I could hear was the night breeze and the distant sound of a baby crying.  
"Jerry?"  
"Yeah, dude?"  
"You're really special to me. And I like you so much."  
He stared at me for a moment. I expected a witty remark, but all I got was a surprised "...You mean that?"  
I nodded. Jerry flicked his cigarette butt into the slowly dying fire.  
"Every word. You're like…. the closest thing I have to a best friend."  
I figured that's where I'd stop, but the words kept coming out.  
"I really really like you. I don't know in what ways. But… in whatever ways, I know it's strong. Okay? Like I said earlier, you're a ride or die. You're the most loyal person I know. Thanks for being here."  
He leaned back a bit and grinned. He rubbed his chin in contemplation.  
"God, now you're gonna make us fucking friendship bracelets or something."  
"Oh, I was thinking about it. But now I DEFINITELY am."  
I rolled my eyes and laughed.  
"Just remember, I like green."  
He started laughing too, and pretty soon, we were in near hysterics. All the anxiety this night had caused seemed to melt away with each laugh that bubbled out of us. We were laughing for a while until we weren't.  
And then we were just staring at each other, the same way we had been in the bus earlier.  
My chest got that lurching roller-coaster feeling, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. The words spilled out of me, and I'd expected them to be louder, but they were little more than a whisper.  
"Jerry."  
His eyes flicked over my face. They moved from my eyes to my lips, to my eyes again.  
"Kiss me again."  
He didn't hesitate. He pulled me in, and it was tender. He tasted like whiskey and Marlboro Reds.  
We kissed like that for a while. Jerry wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.  
When we broke away, the fire had gone out.  
I laid my head against his chest.  
"Are you gonna be okay here by yourself, Jerry?"  
"Of course, dude."  
"Make sure you drink all that Pedialyte."  
He got quiet for a moment.  
"I think I'm in love with you, Jack."  
I sighed. He wasn't the only one.  
"Yeah, I know."  
"Want me to call O'Brien to come pick you up?"  
"Yeah."  
"Do you wanna talk about all this later?"  
"Can we? Can we just figure all this out later? I'm drunk, and I think I might have a concussion."  
He kissed my forehead. It made me feel warm inside, despite the cold.  
"Whatever you want, Jackarino."  
I smiled and closed my eyes.

*******

I stood outside the compound, waiting for O'Brien. I was finally alone with my thoughts, and they were not very pleasant.  
Thoughts of Sabine. Thoughts of my foster dad and how many times he'd drop the f slur in a day. Thoughts of that incident in the walk-in.  
I was struggling to keep my head above the surface when O'Brien finally pulled up.  
I got in, and she cranked up the heat. If she had any questions about my mud-covered clothes, the bloody gash on the side of my head, my slightly inebriated state, or my red and puffy eyes, she kept them to herself.  
She had only one question for me.  
"Is he going to be okay?"  
I thought long and hard about my answer. Everything Jerry had been through, he always seemed to bounce back. Tonight felt different... it felt significant. There was no way I could predict his next move. So I said what I wanted to hear.  
"I hope so." 


	2. The Cooler

When I returned to the gas station, the universe got with the program and threw something really shocking at me. I looked around the perfectly clean store. Rosa had done an incredible job watching the register. The aisles were fronted, the counter wipes down, the pralines picked back up and stacked in a neat pyramid next to the register. There was an upbeat dance song about static palms (whatever that means) filling the room with uncharacteristic joy. Somehow, even the lights seemed a little brighter in there. Strangest of all, the place didn't smell like usual. It wasn't the best, but it was okay, which was a major improvement.  
Rosa finished checking out the elderly man she'd been attending to when I walked in. Then she turned her attention to the next person in line, me.  
She let out a small "yeep" noise, like a chihuahua when you scare it.  
"Jack! You actually came back!"  
It was quite a sight to take in. How clean the gas station was. The glitzy pink cell phone playing music on the counter, the Pink Lemonade candle lit next to it (God knows where she got that). Rosa's red jacket draped over the seat that she pushed into the corner because, evidently, standing up was her preferred method of working. She was slightly shorter than I remembered, but then I noticed her heels sitting on the chair by her purse.  
"Please don't tell me you're barefoot."  
"It's okay! I swept and mopped the floors!"  
I looked at her incredulously.  
"We have a mop?"  
She giggled.  
"I had to do something to pass the time! Cleaning was the most obvious choice. There were a lot of cigarette butts and baby pacifiers. Not sure what the story is there, but I didn't want to throw them away, so I collected them. Filled a whole pickle jar!"  
She picked up the large jar from behind the counter and showed it off.  
"We weren't using the pickle jar for anything, were we?"  
I stared at her for a moment before looking around and taking it all in. Each time I looked around, I saw something new that was cleaned. She had wiped down the _frozen drink machine_. This was honestly almost shocking enough to make me forget what happened at the compound.  
"Rosa, this is incredible. This is like… beyond incredible. This is astonishing."  
She blushed.  
"Thank you."  
I made my way around to the other side of the counter, dumbfounded by just how clean it looked.  
_Were the floors always this color?_  
_We really should mop more often._  
"No, honestly. I can't believe you did all this. I can't believe anyone did this. This place looks impossibly clean. Thank you so much, Rosa."  
I pushed a milk crate over to the front of the safe with my crutch. I sat on it as I entered the combination.  
"Well, I'm a pretty good worker, you know. Some might call me a catch."  
She smirked. I opened the safe and handed her the Emergency Fund money, after making sure the envelope still had the cash in it.  
"Here," I said. "This is for tonight."  
She took it and put it in her purse.  
"This was actually kinda nice. Not how I thought me coming down here would turn out. But not the worst night I've ever had."  
I got up and hobbled over to the schedule.  
"When would you be available again? I can officially train you whenever you're ready."  
She inhaled sharply and averted her eyes.  
"Well, I uh…. I actually got another job already. I just wanted to come down here tonight and give you guys a piece of my mind."  
I sighed.  
"Well, that's a shame. I hate that I missed so many chances to work with you. I bet it would've made life a lot better having someone as cool as you around."  
_God, what the hell is wrong with me? Did I really just say that? Am I flirting? After I kissed my best friend less than an hour ago? After he told me he loved me? Am I…. Am I fucking drunk?_  
I put a hand down on the counter to steady myself. Rosa blushed again.  
"Thanks Jack. You're really sweet."  
"You're welcome."  
"Well, goodbye forever!"  
She put on her shoes and jacket and left.  
A minute later, I was digging through my bag, trying to find a new book to read, trying to push away the intrusive thoughts, old and new.  
Sweat was rolling down my forehead, despite it being generally freezing. I decided that before I could focus on anything, I needed a minute to cool off. I stood up and walked to the cooler.  
The minute I let the door shut behind me, I knew I'd made a mistake. I was suddenly standing in one of the back corners, not far from the Kieffer pile.  
_The Kieffer pile..._  
I could hear the blood rushing through my ears as I watched myself open the cooler door, walk over to the shelf and grab a six-pack off of one of the stacks.  
My fried brain did some awful things to me, made me doubt everything that happened to me, and made me forget things that really did happen. But making me rewatch this was by far one of the crueler ones.  
The cooler door opened again. I knew what came next. I heard the cans hit the floor before I got the nerve to look up at what I already knew had happened.  
That morning had been slow. I had gone into the cooler to restock whatever variant of six-pack needed restocking. I was lost in thought about the most recent session I'd had with Dr. V. I didn't hear him come in. I wasn't looking where I was going and ran into him in the worst way humanly possible. My cast made me stumble a bit, and I looked up to say, "Hey!" or "I'm sorry!" or "Fuck off!" but instead, I ended up awkwardly locking lips with Antonio. I dropped the six-pack.  
Both of us stayed frozen like that, and then Tony took a step back. We just stared at each other, like deer in the headlights. It felt like we stayed like that for years. Finally, Tony spoke.  
"I'm not gay."  
I was quick to echo the sentiment.  
"N-neither am I."  
And then, in a matter of seconds, Tony had me up against the wall. He wasted no time in pulling me in, and we began feverishly kissing. I hadn't been kissed like that in so long, I just lost myself in it.  
We made out like horny teenagers as he slid his hand up my shirt and through my hair. I slid my hands up his tank top.  
I broke away for air. Tony stared into my eyes, and the look he gave me was heavy and full of lust. I bit my lower lip. We went back to making out.  
We stayed like this for a while. I don't remember how long.  
The bell chimed at the front of the store, snapping us both out of it. Tony pulled his hand out of my pants. I lifted my head from the crook of his neck to look at him.  
"This doesn't leave this room. Got it?"  
I nodded and kissed him one more time. He  
handed me my crutches and made sure  
I was steady on my feet before walking out.  
Watching it happen from across the room was just as surreal as living it, if not more so. I steadied myself and walked out of the cooler, leaving my past self to lean against the wall and wonder what the hell he was gonna do now.  
I walked behind the counter and checked the time.  
It was 3 AM. I'd lost two hours in the cooler. My nose and fingers were red, and I couldn't stop shivering. I've done weirder things than chill in the cooler for two hours when I blacked out, though, so it didn't bother me too much.  
I spent the next two hours reading a gooey romance novel I bought off Amazon about an astronaut stranded on the moon and the alien prince who rescued him. It was good enough of a distraction to keep the thoughts at bay long enough for me to push them back into the vault.  
Jerry strolled in at about 5 AM. He was wearing a shirt with Bart Simpson on it that said "eat ass, smoke grass, skate fast" and pajama pants. He smelled like bad weed.  
He fixed himself a cup of coffee and pulled a mini bottle of liquor out of his pocket. As he poured it in, I dog-eared my page and sat the book down.  
"Little early for that, don't you think?"  
He shrugged.  
"Depending on the way you look at it, it could be a little late for it, don't you think?"  
I rolled my eyes. Jerry walked over and took the sunglasses off his head and stuck them on my face. I pulled them off and sat them down on the counter.  
"Hey… do you wanna come to my place later?"  
"I've gotta work tonight."  
He sighed.  
"Well… if you get a break between now and then, would you maybe wanna drop by for a bit? We could have a drink or two. It doesn't have to be for that long…"  
Wait… was he trying to ask me on a date?  
I looked at the schedule behind me then back at him. What kind of a dick would I be if I told him no?  
"I'll see what I can do, okay? If not, we can work it out for another day."  
He grinned.  
"Alright, cool."  
He leaned over the counter and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. I was glad no one else was around.  
As nice as Jerry was, I wasn't looking to be any more of an outcast in this town than I already was. In fact, that passed the point of "social pariah" and ventured into "mysteriously disappeared" territory. I couldn't do any good for him if I was dead.  
He finished his coffee, stole a pack of cigarettes, and left.  
I got lost in my book again until the sun shone through the front windows.


	3. Both Sides Of The Store

O'Brien's cruiser rolled into the parking lot.  
When I called her and asked her for a ride out to the compound again, she didn't ask questions. But when she saw my khakis and collared shirt, I could tell she was a bit surprised.  
"What's up with the church clothes, Tripod?"  
"Jerry… invited me over to his place."  
"Is he okay? Is he doing any better?"  
I got in the car and could see the gears turning in her head.  
"I saw him this morning, and he acted okay. I don't know I…. I think it might be a date?"  
I cringed at the fact that I'd just come out to O'Brien as…. well…. something. Her eyebrows shot up, and she mouthed "oh".  
"I seriously don't know what it is and now I'm overthinking and—"  
"Jack."  
"—I kissed Jerry! And he told me he loved me and if he's actually sick I'm probably gonna get it and—"  
"Jack, calm down."  
"—we kissed, and it was definitely more than once. But I'm not even gay! I don't think I am… But it's just Jerry. I've dated so many girls before! So many being like…. one I guess…. But I love girls! I'm not—"  
"Jack, you're not the only one who likes to… shop on both sides of the store."  
Now it was my turn to be surprised.  
"You're…. you're……?"  
"Yeah. I haven't been with anyone in a while, but college was a wild time. I went to a lot of parties."  
Thinking about O'Brien being a college party girl was disconcerting.  
"Well, shit."  
After that, we drove in silence for a while. I watched the snow-covered trees go by and wondered just what the hell was waiting for me at Jerry's place. I picked at the wrapping on the top of the wine I'd brought. O'Brien was the first to break the silence.  
"I… I think you could do a lot worse than Jerry."  
I looked over at her.  
"Sure, you could probably do a lot better than Jerry. But you could certainly do a lot worse too."  
"I know. I think I might have feelings for him…."  
She looked at me for a moment before looking back out at the road.  
"Want me to be honest with you, Jack?"  
"Shoot."  
"I think you should go for it. I mean, I know it's none of my business. But if you don't give it a shot, you'll always wonder what would've happened."  
Usually, I tried not to think about the past. Or the things I could have done differently. But I knew O'Brien was right. This was a big one, and if I did nothing, I'd always wonder what could've happened if I did something.  
"I… I think you're right. I…. I will. Also, for the record, I was so sick of people saying I was dating you."  
Maybe I would've liked for it to have been true, but still, it was annoying.  
"I know, right? People can be so nosy."  
We shared a laugh and the awkwardness that hung in the air dissipated.  
As she drove down the winding road towards the compound, I let out a sigh.  
"I'm nervous."  
"Well, I would tell you not to be, but it's Jerry… so I don't know. Don't get killed. Be safe."  
I chewed my lip.  
"Thanks."  
She pulled up to the front of the compound. Jerry was standing out beside the door, waiting for me.  
I could tell O'Brien was just as caught off guard by the way he looked as I was. Jerry had on clean jeans and a dark blue flannel. His hair was clean and brushed out, but he was barefoot. He waved at us.  
After a minute, she grinned.  
"Looks like Lover Boy is waiting for you."  
My face grew hot.  
"Thanks for the ride, Amy. I'll call you when I need a ride back to the gas station but…. it may be in the morning. I don't know. This place gives me the creeps sometimes. Either way, I'll let you know. Thanks for everything."  
"Call me if you need me. See ya later, Tripod."  
I got out with my crutch and shut the door, watching her drive off.  
Jerry waved me over, and I let out a sigh.  
_Who knew what I was in for this time?_


	4. New York Sour

I walked with Jerry through the compound.  
"Oh dude, you brought wine? You didn't have to do that."  
"Don't worry about it. I wanted to."  
I shivered, realizing I forgot my jacket.  
"It's rad that you did though, thanks."  
We went to the back of the compound, and Jerry had a fire in the firepit, and a large quilt spread on the ground. There was a bottle of whiskey, two tumblers, and a box of chocolate cupcakes.  
"Oh… Jerry… you set this up?"  
He nodded and grinned.  
"The cupcakes are hot chocolate flavored. I got them from the bakery a town over. Your car finally turned over, by the way."  
"Jerry…. this is really nice, but," I shivered as I spoke, "it's freezing outside."  
His smile faltered a bit.  
"I can go get you a blanket… or… we can just go inside the bus."  
He seemed on edge, not cocky and confident like he usually was. It was weird to see.  
"Yeah, that'd be nice. Thanks."  
Jerry went inside the bus and returned several minutes later with a large blanket. It was a soft grey with a familiar blue-haired girl on it.  
"Jerry…."' I asked, holding it in front of me to get a better look, "is this a Hatsune Miku blanket?"  
"Oh, yeah! Sweet, isn't it?"  
Upon further examination, it was apparent that it was handmade.  
"Jerry… did you make this?"  
"Oh… uh… no?"  
"Oh my god, you totally made this, didn't you?"  
"Alright yeah, I did. Took a long ass time too."  
"Dude, this is…. super cool."  
He looked a bit surprised.  
"You think so?"  
“Yeah. It’s really nice. Really well made."  
I wrapped it around my shoulders and sat down on the quilt.  
“You know… I really don’t remember the last time I ate. I don’t get hungry that often. I just eat cause I have to."  
“Then, by all means, have as many cupcakes as you want."  
Jerry came over and took a seat next to me as I opened the plastic packaging.  
“They’re delicious. I’ve had them before."  
I pulled one out and peeled off the paper liner.  
“Anything is better than a frozen gas station burrito."  
I expected him to open the whiskey, but instead he took the tumblers and opened the wine bottle.  
“Nothing goes better together than wine and chocolate cupcakes, huh?"  
Jerry grinned.  
“What about PB&J and ramen?"  
“Definitely better than PB&J ramen."  
“I propose a toast."  
I rubbed my chin.  
“To what?"  
Jerry thought for a moment.  
“How about your leg? May it Rest In Peace at the bottom of the creek."  
“That, and to this night, how about?"  
He grinned.  
“Cheers?"  
“Cheers."  
We clinked our glasses together, and Jerry downed his in one go. I sipped mine.  
“So… what is tonight exactly? Is it a date? I kind of feel like it is."  
“Do you want it to be a date?"  
I watched his cheeks flush red just a bit.  
“Yeah man. I didn’t bust out my good clothes for nothing."  
He let out a chuckle.  
“You look nice, you know."  
My face flushed.  
“So do you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so put together."  
“I don’t know whether to feel complimented or insulted."  
He put his hand on my hand. I flipped it over and interlocked our fingers. Jerry leaned in a bit.  
“You have gorgeous eyes."  
“So do you. They’re such a nice shade of blue."  
I took another bite of my cupcake and sip of wine. Jerry poured himself some more and drank the entire thing again.  
“The stars are beautiful tonight."  
I looked up at the sky, pulled the blanket tighter around me. Jerry squeezed my hand.  
“Yeah, it is rather pretty."  
I looked back down at the slowly-fading fire.  
“You know what else is beautiful?"  
He giggled. I couldn’t figure out what was so funny. I refilled my glass.  
“What?"  
“You, dummy."  
_Ohhh._ He was trying to _flirt_. I smiled at him.  
“You’re sweet."  
He had a funny look on his face.  
“Wow, I think I can see Ursa Major. There are so many stars out tonight…"  
“Tons."  
Jerry wasn’t looking at the stars anymore. He was looking at me and leaning in. His voice was soft.  
“Jack."  
“Yeah?"  
“Kiss me."  
I didn’t have to think about it for too long. I pulled Jerry in and kissed him as passionately as I could manage. He wrapped his arms around me, and I could feel him melt like hot wax.  
When we broke away, he had a warm smile on his face.  
The fire had gone out, but I still felt warm inside.  
“Hey, do you wanna go inside now?"  
I wiped the snow out of my hair as best I could.  
“Yeah. That’d be nice."  
He helped me to my foot, and we took the cupcakes and alcohol back inside the bus. I kicked my shoes off and sat down in one of his bean bag chairs.  
Jerry set the empty tumblers down on the desk. He considered them for a moment before pouring whiskey in one and then pouring wine in. I made a face as he tossed it back.  
“Hm… interesting…"  
“That looks disgusting. Give me some."  
He filled the other tumbler with the mixture and handed it to me. I sipped it.  
It tasted like grape-flavored fire.  
“I don’t hate it… it definitely gets the job done."  
“Hell yeah. Wanna play video games? We can play Super Hit Siblings."  
“Sure."  
Jerry loaded up the game and handed me a controller. He then proceeded to absolutely kick my ass several times in a row, and Jerry was well-established as The Hoe. After about the sixth time he asked, “wanna go again?"  
“Do you? I think I need one more shot at redemption."  
He shrugged.  
“Sure. I could stand to beat you another time."  
“Oh no. This time you’re going down."  
He scoffed.  
“Fat chance, fuckboy!"  
_Were my ears working right? Was I drunk?_  
I laughed, louder than I meant to.  
“Did you just call me a fuckboy?!"  
“Maybe."  
I selected my character and started a new game.  
“Let’s make this interesting. Loser has to take off their shirt."  
_Okay yeah, I was definitely drunk._  
“You’re on."  
It took a while, but eventually, I beat him.  
“Haha! In your face!"  
“Good job, dude, you’re officially The Hoe."  
I beamed.  
“I’m The Hoe."  
I leaned over and gave him a soft peck on the lips. He smiled at me.  
“I think that’s enough video games for now. Do you want me to put on some music or something?"  
“Sure. Then you have to take your shirt off because I won."  
I watched Jerry walk over to his record player and slide an Arctic Monkeys vinyl out of its sleeve. I hadn’t anticipated Jerry’s music choice being so good.  
“Ooh, good taste."  
“You know," Jerry said, as he pulled off his flannel, and then the purple My Little Pony shirt underneath, “it’s no fun until everybody is shirtless."  
Although I’d seen Jerry shirtless plenty of times, I found myself checking him out.  
I sighed.  
“Alright, alright, fine."  
I pulled off my long sleeve and Jerry turned around and looked me over.  
“Dude… you’ve got like… so many scars. My god."  
I’d forgotten why I didn’t like to be shirtless in front of other people.  
He walked over and put his hand on my chest. I flinched.  
“Do they hurt?"  
I held my hands over myself.  
“No, they’re fine."  
“I’m sorry man. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable; I just…"  
He got quiet for a moment, looking down before looking back up at me.  
“I worry about you. Sorry if that’s like… weird to you."  
Honestly, hearing him say that was the first time I felt genuinely cared about in a while.  
“Well…. I worry about you too. Even before we were friends. When you were just the stupid cultist with grass-stained pants, who’d come to buy cigarettes and annoy me—“  
“It’s _not_ a cult."  
“— and I made you go talk to the Man in the Raincoat. When you didn’t show up again, I thought he’d killed you."  
“I didn’t talk to that guy, fuck that."  
“I mean, you came back, so I assumed you hadn’t."  
Jerry laughed.  
“I got maybe a foot away from him before deciding that was a big bag of Hell No."  
“Yeah, honestly, I don’t think he’s a man at all. Or even human."  
Jerry took a long sip of the Dumpster Fire In A Glass.  
“I worry about you and all the weird drinks you make too."  
“Yknow, I bet someone’s already made this."  
“I wouldn’t be surprised."  
I laid back and stared at the ceiling of the bus as Jerry scrolled through his phone.  
“Yep! Some fancy cocktail with lemon called a New York Sour."  
I swirled what was left around in my glass.  
“This definitely doesn’t taste like a fancy cocktail."  
“Maybe it’s just cause there’s no lemon."  
I shrugged. Jerry came over and sat next to me. I noticed just how close he sat.  
Did he mean to do that?  
“This isn’t really what I expected when you asked me to come over, honestly. I… I guess I really don’t know what I expected. You’re pretty unpredictable. You keep me on my toes, as if everything else in this town didn’t do a good job of that already."  
“I’m sorry man. I don’t mean to—“  
“No, no, it’s a compliment. You know, as much as I don’t like surprises, sometimes they’re good. Besides, I think if I’d invited you over to my place, it would’ve been awkward, and I would’ve overthought everything. But this has been… well, it’s been nice."  
He took my hand and interlocked our fingers. His hand was warm and a bit sweaty.  
“I’m glad you enjoyed it, dude."  
“Forgive me for getting sappy, I think it’s the alcohol, but everything is just a little bit brighter with you around."  
He put his hand on my cheek and pulled me in slow. I expected the kiss, and it was nice.  
What I didn’t expect was Jerry’s tongue in my mouth. Tongue-kissing a guy was very different from tongue-kissing a girl. It took up much more real estate in my mouth.  
He ran his calloused hands up and down my chest. He leaned back in the beanbag chair, and we didn’t stop kissing until we needed more air.  
I figured that would be the end of it, but he pulled me back in, and we started it all over again. He slid his hand down my abdomen and carefully undid the top button of my khakis.  
I pulled away and looked at him.  
“Jack… where do you want this to go?"  
His question caught me off guard. Sure, I was glad he had asked it, but I wasn’t exactly sure where I wanted this to end up.  
“Where do you want this to go?"  
He smirked.  
“Nu-uh, I asked first."  
I scratched the back of my neck sheepishly.  
“Whatever you’re okay with doing, Jerry."  
“I’ll do whatever you want."  
“Jerry, you’re making this difficult."  
“Sorry."  
I sighed.  
“Well, if you end up taking my pants off, you’re probably gonna find this."  
I pulled the condom out of my pocket. Jerry stared at the little purple packet, wide-eyed.  
“Oh? Oh shit man."  
“I’m sure you have plenty anyway."  
“Damn Jack, you saucy boy!"  
I chuckled nervously.  
“I brought it yknow, just in case."  
“Sure you did, Jack."  
I wrinkled my nose at him.  
“I mean it! God, you’re so annoying sometimes, you know that?"  
I pulled him in again. This kiss was much less soft and tender. It was a hungry kiss. He shoved his tongue in my mouth and his hand down my pants. It was getting tighter down there by the minute.  
I shivered when he touched my dick. The calluses on his hand felt strangely good as he stroked me.  
“Mmm… Jerry…"  
He used his other hand to slide my pants off, and my briefs came with it. I turned red all the way up to my ears.  
“Shit man, I didn’t mean to pull it all off yet, I’m sorry."  
I resisted the strong urge to cover myself.  
“Uh haha it’s fine. Don’t worry about it."  
It didn’t take me too long to realize he was staring.  
_God, was it ugly? I didn’t think it was that bad, but…_  
I slid my hand down and unbuttoned his jeans.  
“Dude, you’ve got one of the nicest dicks I’ve ever seen."  
I stuttered for a moment, taken aback by his words.  
“I… thanks?"  
“And I’ve seen a lot of them."  
He raised his eyebrows and mouthed “a LOT".  
I chuckled drunkenly.  
“I don’t doubt that. You’re so like…. openly bisexual."  
We laid there as Jerry kissed my neck. At some point (I couldn’t tell you when) he lost the rest of his clothes. He ran his hand through my hair.  
“I love your hair. It’s so curly and nice."  
“Jerry I… I’ve never been with a guy before. Not like… not like that."  
“It’s… uh… well… it’s an experience. It hurts a little, but it’s manageable."  
“Well…. I trust you."  
He gasped.  
“Finally! He trusts me!"  
I rolled my eyes.  
“Don’t get a big head about it."  
Jerry responded by flipping us over, so he was on top.  
“Hey, dude?"  
“Yeah?"  
“Are you gonna leave your socks on during this?"  
“What? Oh come on. My feet get cold."  
He shrugged.  
“I love them. I think it’s cute."  
“Shut up Jerry."  
“Make me."  
I kissed him hard, shutting him up.  
“Almost as much as I love you."  
I blinked.  
“Oh shit, did I say that out loud? I meant to think that, my bad."  
It took my brain a minute to process this. The last time someone had spoken those words to me with that much sincerity, Sabine was still alive.  
“I…. I love you too."  
The words felt scary, but they also felt right. It was a bit frightening for me, but I knew I meant them.  
Jerry pulled me in and kissed me passionately before running his hands all up and down my sides. Maybe it was the alcohol, but I was…. really turned on.  
He pressed our foreheads together. I smiled at him. He’d dimmed the lights, and the only sounds were the space heater and Alex Turner’s smooth voice from the record player.  
“Your smile is so pretty, you should wear it more. God… you’re so beautiful, Jack."  
“You’re so sweet, oh my god."  
He put his hand on my face and caressed my cheek.  
“You deserve love, Jack."  
I was a bit caught off guard by this moment of sincerity from him.  
“So do you."  
I kissed him again. I pulled away and kissed his neck. The alcohol was really making me lose my filter.  
“I...I want you."  
“Alright, let’s move this little affair to my bed, hm?"  
“Sounds good."  
We moved over to his mattress on the floor, and he got on top of me again.  
One of the side effects of my disease was that I had a hard time…. well… getting ready for this kind of stuff. But tonight, I was having no trouble with that.  
He kissed down my chest and rubbed his thumbs over my nipples. I gave a deep shudder.  
“Fuck," I muttered, “that’s so good."  
He flicked his tongue over them as he ran one hand up my inner thigh, stroking me with the other. I let out soft gasps.  
Jerry looked down at me with this look I’d never seen on his face before. It was lustful and half-lidded. It was hungry. It was the same look I’d gotten from Sabine plenty of times. The same look I got from Tony that time in the cooler.  
I returned it as best I could. I was never good at being sexy.  
Jerry reached over and grabbed a bottle of lube from… somewhere. He set it down beside us before putting his hand against my face and rubbing his thumb over my lip.  
“Open that pretty mouth."  
“I… uh… alright then…"  
I opened my mouth, and he stuck his fingers in. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was supposed to do, so I just sat there with his fingers in my mouth.  
He gave me a funny look.  
“Oh, sorry. You gotta suck on them."  
I snickered a little bit but did as he asked. They tasted exactly how I’d expected them to taste, like weed, sweat, and whiskey.  
“You’re so hot, Jack."  
I wrapped my arms around him and gave him the sexy look again.  
“I’m convinced you’re an alien from the Planet Sexy."  
“Jerry, what the fuck?" I mumbled.  
“What I’m trying to say is, you’re sexy as hell."  
I let out a short laugh through my nose.  
Well, that’s certainly one way to say it.  
After I sucked his fingers for a bit, he pulled them out of my mouth.  
“Alright, spread your leg."  
I stared at him for a long moment.  
“Jerry, you asshole."  
“Well? You’ve only got one leg."  
I rolled my eyes. He was such an idiot.  
“Remind me to whack you with my crutch when we’re done with this."  
Jerry opened the bottle of lube and spread some all over my entrance with his dry hand.  
I let out a grunt as he worked his fingers into me. I bit my lip as he pushed them in deeper, moving them around. It felt uncomfy at first, and I considered telling him to stop a few times.  
“You’re so tense. I’m not gonna hurt you. It’ll feel better the more you relax."  
I tried to do as he said. After riding it out for a bit, and trying to think of relaxing things, the feeling it was causing began to change.  
“Jerry… hngh… that feels…"  
“Better? I can tell."  
“I-Is this what we’re doing?"  
“Nah. This is just the appetizer before the main course."  
I clung onto him and made small noises. I probably would’ve been embarrassed if I wasn’t so goddamn drunk.  
His fingers moved slow but gave me pleasure in ways I’d never had it before. I ran my hand through his hair as I watched him rut against my inner thigh.  
“God… Jack… mmm…. y-you’re so… hot… so…. sexy…"  
He let out a soft moan, and I shivered. I was surprised at how much more hearing him like this turned me on. He curled and twisted his fingers in me for a while.  
When he finally pulled them out, I was breathless.  
“Alright, so now wha—“  
“Give me the condom."  
His voice was low and husky.  
I handed Jerry the condom. He tore open the wrapper with his teeth. He sat up, and I watched him roll it on.  
The beginning notes of “I Wanna Be Yours" drifted through the bus. It may have just been the alcohol, but it felt like Jerry and I were the only two people in the world.  
He noticed me watching and grinned.  
“You’re cute."  
“You’re hot."  
“You’re sexy."  
“You turn me on."  
“You make me hard."  
I let out a soft, drunken laugh.  
“Make love to me, Jerry."  
He pulled me close and kissed up my neck.  
“I’m gonna make this so nice for you. You just gotta stay relaxed."  
I nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to my jaw in return.  
“Alright," he said, as he spread more lube on me and slicked himself up, “are you ready for this? We can stop any time, don’t feel obligated to do anything."  
“As ready as I’ll ever be, Jer. Just be gentle."  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle, my delicate little flower."  
“Shut up, fuckface."  
Jerry kissed me softly as he positioned himself and pushed in. The pain was annoying and sharp, but not absolutely unbearable. I let him push in more, and the sharpness only grew. I had to tell him to stop several times, to give me a minute to adjust, to try and relax. By the time I felt he could move a little, I was panting. I closed my eyes.  
“Okay, just go slow."  
He pressed kisses to my neck and whispered, “I’m not gonna hurt you, don’t worry."  
He started to move, and I felt my breath getting heavier. It still hurt, but my pain tolerance was pretty high by this point. I kept my eyes closed. I knew if I opened them, then this would all be real. I’d actually be having sex with another guy. I didn’t know if I could handle that, even if I was drunk.  
“Jack… fuck… are you alright?"  
I opened my eyes. Jerry was staring at me. Not in a weird way, in a concerned way.  
Who was I kidding? This was just Jerry. There… there was nothing scary about that. This was the dumb, harmless cultist who’d saved my life multiple times. More than anyone should have to, with the lifespan I had. He was nice. I had feelings for him. I… I loved him.  
“Jerry. I love you."  
He looked as if I’d just told him he won the MegaMillion jackpot.  
“Oh… oh Jack… I love you too!"  
I nodded and kissed him. I focused on relaxing as he ran one hand all over my body, and the other jacked me off. The pain began to dissipate. For a moment, it just felt strange. Until it didn’t.  
“J-Jerry that’s—“  
“Want me to go faster?"  
“A little bit, mhm."  
As Jerry moved faster, my lower half felt warm and tingly. I clung to him as he picked up the pace.  
“Fuuuck. Jack, you feel so nice."  
I let out a moan. It surprised me. I wasn’t usually super loud during stuff like this.  
“Hnnn, Jerry please…"  
He kissed me again, hard and passionate. I pushed back against him as he sped up. I let out a little giggle as he ran his hands through my hair, but it turned into a gasp when he tugged it.  
He wrapped my remaining leg around him, and I buried my face in the crook of his neck. That’s the way we stayed for a while.  
“Jerry…. m-more."  
He went faster. I clung to and moaned into the bend in his shoulder.  
“God Jack, I love seeing you come undone like this,” he said in a soft, seductive voice.  
It came to the point where I couldn’t stop squirming, and I felt the familiar hot feeling in my abdomen. I lifted my head from the crook of his neck and pressed our foreheads together. He stared into my eyes. I stared into his. I wasn’t scared anymore, this felt right. I spoke between pants  
“A-ah… Jerry… that feels so… yes! Right there! Ugh… I don’t think I’m gonna… I’m about to…"  
“Fuck, Jack you’re so pretty, I’ve wanted to do this forever, oh my god, I love you so much ughh!”  
He hit the sweet spot, and I felt my back arc up as I let out a loud moan.  
“Yes!! Right there!! Jerry!! Ahh!!"  
My body twitched all over as I surrendered to the incredible orgasm. I felt him slide out of me and felt him cum all over my stomach.  
“OhgodJackyou’resofuckinghot"  
He collapsed next to me. We both laid there in the semi-silence, panting, staring at each other. Jerry rolled over and put his head on my chest. He was the first to speak once we both caught our breath.  
“That… was… awesome! Dude, you should’ve seen your face. You’ve got like… the cutest orgasm face. It’s crazy."  
I sighed.  
“Oh shut up Jerry."  
“Make me."  
I kissed him. 

*******

Jerry rode me back to the gas station, and surprisingly, my car didn’t explode. I accepted his invitation to “go find out what the fuck a New York Sour is together sometime”, and he let me take the rest of the cupcakes. I made my way back behind the counter, moving the lawn gnome sitting in my chair. I sat down behind the counter and got ready for whatever wild shit the universe had to throw at me next. 


End file.
